Surprises: May 31, 2022

This last day in May was full of surprises.

I am back at Taussig today for labs, a Covid test, and a final checkup to confirm I'm well enough to start the stem cell transplant process. All looks good, and the visit is an easy one. Near the end, my transplant coordinator joins me for a social visit. Katie is compassionate and forthright, which makes it impossible for me not to like her immediately, even when she is telling me something I don’t want to hear. My first meeting with Katie was over the phone back in April, which ended with me begging her to move up my admission date. It was the kindest firm no I’ve ever received.

Today Katie gifts me with a soft white blanket scattered with pickles, and it makes me laugh: I adore dad jokes, and agree wholeheartedly with the blanket’s sentiment to "just dill with it.” I’m trying here to put my energy into the things that I can control, and to be more graceful about those which I can’t; courage is something that comes more easily to me than serenity.

Later, my mom and I are reading by the pool at our apartment. I feel compelled to be outside as much as possible before my hospital admission, where I can’t leave the ward or even open a window. So when she is called to accept a large package that has just been delivered, I join her reluctantly. Once downstairs, the lobby is empty of both delivery person and package, and I ask my mom where they are. She points outside to the front door… and I see my friends. They've driven all the way from Toronto to surprise me. Tears and hugs flow. I am so grateful for their love, for the night and next day that we spend together dining on a beautiful patio, eating breakfast by the pool, enjoying the sun and each others’ company.

I am fortified.

A new month dawns.

And I'm ready for admission tomorrow.