Earlier this week, I was back in Cleveland for a long overdue research visit at the Cleveland Clinic. I didn't get to see my 7-Tesla MRI images. Nor did the neurologist I saw for my physical exam have access to the rest of my chart, to tell me how I compared to my previous visit six months ago (such is research.) But even without this confirmation, I'm certain that I am stable. And am certain that I'm stable, too, compared to just before my transplant.
Better was never promised to me, but like my HSCT buddy Carolyn, I've always secretly hoped to beat the odds. Everybody loves that narrative. Everybody expects that narrative. But the reality is that my narrative is one of mostly being okay, of struggling and loving and winning and losing and accepting and grieving and just being an average person.
I had the chance to catch up with Carolyn over dinner this week, and she writes about this same experience here:
I hope you hop on over to her beautifully written blog and take a read.
Signed,
Your average experimental stem cell transplant recipient