When my mom first reached out and asked me to write this, it was only about an hour after we said our final goodbye and headed back to Toronto. We had been in Cleveland visiting her, and it was hard to leave. Writing this makes me feel close to her once again, and gives me hope that the time will go by quickly.
For those of you who don’t know me or can’t already tell, my name is Rebecca. I am Erin’s oldest daughter, and I am sixteen years old. Before April 2022, I could never have imagined living without my mother. She is a huge support for me, having been around through all the highs and lows, especially our family’s personal highs and lows, of which we have had many these past few years. Now, don’t get me wrong. My mom is doing an incredible job of parenting over a screen, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less hard for either of us. Not being able to hug her has been truly unbearable. Luckily, technology has given us the ability to talk every day, spend virtual time together, and forget about the distance for a few hours.
As a sixteen year old girl finishing up her second-last year of high school, living without such an important figure in my life is extremely difficult. Coming home from school and not being able to run to my mom’s office and fill her in on all that happened can be really hard. Ok, that’s an understatement: it is beyond difficult to be without her. Every aspect of life without my mom, even walking downstairs in the morning without seeing her drinking her morning tea while reading the paper, has been earth-shattering. Teenage years are arguably the most important years of one’s life, and having to live through the good, the bad, and the ugly of it without my mom has been so stressful, and it’s only been a month! Despite the support and love my family and friends have given to me, there is still a large Erin-sized hole in my life.
Before my mom left for Cleveland, I could not have imagined the extensive impact it would have on my life. From the day I watched her car pull out my driveway and drive off, my whole life has been flipped upside down, leaving me lost in the dark, trying to find the nearest light or just someone to help pull me out. That first day, I was genuinely unsure if I would be able to make it through two months without my built-in therapist, #1 supporter, and best friend. However, it’s been about a month since she was last home, and as time has progressed I have slowly but surely been able to pull myself out of the darkness and continue on with my life.
This experience so far has made me truly appreciate my own strength. Not only is this transplant making my mom physically and mentally stronger, it is making my family and me stronger too. And every day is one day closer to my mom coming home.
My biggest piece of advice to someone in my position is that it gets better. Everything happens for a reason, and even if you can’t see the reason right now I promise you it’s there. I urge you to keep going, and everything will work out and make sense in time.
To anyone reading this, hug your family a little tighter today. Send that text to your friend checking in and telling them how much you love them. Do something that makes you smile today. Spread some extra love in the world, today and always.
— Rebecca
